somethings i should know by now as a clumsy adult, and yet i dont. namely, DESPITE having done it in the past without issue, DESPITE having more in my hands than usual, and DESPITE having already had enough coffee to be awake, i should know better than to put a packet of mayonaise into my pants pocket as i carry my food out of the cafeteria.

ever been in a crowded checkout line, reach into your pocket to grab coins and pull out a handful of goopy white quaters and nickels? dont recomend it.