Live Blogging Eating a Stale Cadbury Crème Egg


--oh gift shop, why do you have to tempt me with cheap candy? It cant be ~that~ stale right? Easter wasn’t ~that~ long ago.

--I love this shiny foil. Big surprise. My boyfriend is convinced I’m a raccoon for how much shiny things have an effect on me. That and because I root trough garbage cans for orange rinds. But whatever. Foil! How earth day. None of the mega-packaging that gum comes in nowadays.

--I have managed to unwrap all the foil in one piece without ripping. That means I win. Like with an orange rind.

--there is a seam where they fuse the chocolate….but also an impregnation hole. I wonder how the goodness is actually placed inside.

--smelllllls goooood [wow, that came in Labyrinth guy voice]

--first bite. Mostly chocolate.

--oh yeah. There it is. What the hell is this crème? Why isn’t it cream?

--third bite…..mmmmmm…crème and choc blend perfect. First hint of yoke in sight

--forth bite, ny teeth starting to feel sugar. Bit around the yolk. It still teases. My eyes are dialating and I am typing ffaster with my non choco hand.

--fifth bite, hit yolk. Gross.

Sixth bite. Getting nauseous. Why wont it stop sticking to my lips and hard pallet? God this sucks.

--it is oozing out of the shell and looks like an oyster hacked up something from its oyster lungs.

--last bite. Stomach already reeling despite the sugar rush continuing. Chocolate now feels gritty. Taking deep inhales through nose.

--dammit go down.

--dammit.

--done.

--aftertaste fortunately is mostly milk chocolate….but not entirely. I kind of want a Peep now.