OK, so when exactly did hearses go out of style? One of the delights of Hopkins is that in order to get to my entrance into the building from the shuttle, I have to walk past the loading dock where they load and unload dead bodies from the morgue. Now, I’m guessing that it is mostly unloading from the morgue, but, this is the ol Johnny Hop, so who knows what kind of pathology experiments they are running on corpses that get delivered here. But, in any case, death must be very popular right now, because I swear those doors have been having more traffic in the past 3 weeks than I have seen there over the past year. And yet the funny thing is, hardly anyone is using hearses. I’ve seen minivans, full size molester vans, a firggen station wagon, and 3 different SUV/Suburban type vehicles.
Now, when I am out driving and I see a hearse, there is always that inner monologue that takes place, “Oh that poor person. That poor family. Is there a procession coming? I should call Grandma” blah blah. There is a certain amount of respect that cars give to an oncoming hearse. You don’t cut them off, you let them make turns, you check to see if they are leading a procession with limos. I suspect a large part of that is the feeling of getting freaked out by the dead body in the car, but there is also the general respect for the dead, and conversely the bloke driving them around. But big ol’ white molester vans with no windows? No one has respect for those on the road. You might steer clear for fear of a ladder falling off a roof rack, but how freaky would it be to have one of those in an accident followed by a casket falling out? Am I wrong for wanting a bit more dignity for a dead parent than a dodge minivan?
I guess all the remaining hearses have been picked up by goth kids.
posted by Mr. Butterworths @ 8:49 AM
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