MMMmmmmmmmHmmm.

There is nothing like getting blatantly cruised to give your self esteem a little pep. Nothing quite like having a stranger's eyes give you the up and down. And today, as I was walking through obstetrics, I totally got cruised by a 17 year old pregnant girl who was high as a mother fucking kite, sprawled out on a chair with one of her swollen legs over the arm of the chair. I just got eye fucked as an enticement to become a new baby daddy.



Every time I start to get realllllllly sick of working here, things happen that just renew my love of Baltimore and the social nuances of the Jonny Hop. And now I’d like to shower.

What you don’t want to see on a election day:


So as I was arriving at Baltimore’s beautiful Penn Station to board the train for DC, I had one of those moments you aren’t supposed to see during ‘these times’. I was getting ready to head down for the night to watch the election returns with my mega-nerd {but still my sweetiepoo} boyfriend who screams with joy for each newly elected Democrat. No, seriously. Screams. Like a momma whose baby has just been acquitted of murdering that punk ass cop.
Anyway. I had just opened the door to the station, and was walking in, when all of the sudden I saw a HUGE orange and red flash, as an exploding fireball lit up the entire station from the tracks. I immediately see train patrons scrambling and hear screams, as the security guards started flying out of their office towards the area. A huge ass German Shepard was bounding alongside a guard the size of a tank. As I naturally do when a crisis arrives, I walk right into it. Sooo I scampered along towards the crying old women and running guards, and got there just in time.
The mega explosion at a public transportation hub during an election was in fact a pigeon that flew into the overhead wires and blew up.
Alas, I was not there to document the actual encounter.